Little Lion Man

"But it was not your fault, but mine. And it was your heart on the line.
I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?"

So our modem has not been working for the past two weeks almost now, I believe it is. So what have I done to remedy this? I have gone and bought myself a little netbook to leech internet from unsuspecting corporations such as McDonalds (and probably now Subway if the supposed password holds). 

I seem to have become addicted to a Scrabble app on my iPhone, courtesy of Courtenay. It seems to have used up all of my monthly downloads on my mobile which is only about 250MB, none the less, it leaves me disappointed and I feel I should increase my monthly download limit just so i can continue to play this game. It is great. =D

I'm about to have a quad-shot Oreo McFlurry. Nom.

Not much to talk about now. Work is going well though I did take today off as my back has figuratively been killing me the last couple days. I saw a doctor this evening and he prescribed me some Panadine with Codine to relieve the pain as well as my regular excersises. It seems to have helped a little but I can still feel the pain chewing on my back.

I found Nicole's ring under my sofa cushion the other day and have been wearing it on and off the last few days. I like it, it's nice and simple. I'm considering keeping it - or getting my own. =P

I'm kind of super hungry now even though I had a few bites of a burger Jack made for dinner and an apple. My hunger is particularly bad because I'm sitting outside MacDonalds. The temptation to buy their gross food is imense. Blargh.

So, I'm finishing this here to play in the playground. Blame it on Jack, but this is where it ends. Disappointment ensues as I realise they lock the playground gates at this time of night. Oh well. I'll finish up anyway, grab a McFlurry and go home.

Goodnight.

The New Year

"So, this is the new year and I don't feel any different."

This (being the title and the quote) is the start of a blog I intended to write a long time ago. Perhaps a couple days after the new year started. In the grand scheme of things, it's not really a long time ago, it's only a couple weeks but things change quickly and in the time it takes to write a few blog posts, a lot can happen.

Unfortunately for me though, not a whole lot has happened. Things remain ever the same. Though I have completed my training through work and am now a level higher in what I do things are still pretty much the same.
I've taken today off work as my ears are hurting - the ear canals or whatever they may be. A kind of pulsating pain, ebbing and rising when I least expect it. It's not pleasant - I have a doctors' appointment in about two hours to have my ears checked.

I have an Evanescence song in my head now. It has been a very long time since I have listened to Evanescence - longer than a few weeks. Perhaps a year or so. I think I may listen to them a little today but mostly I want to limit the amount of sound depositing into my ears - perhaps it will help the pain, along with a couple Panadol pills perhaps and some sleep. My head isn't feeling all that great either.

Sometimes I wonder; why do I write, why do I sing, why do I do anything at all? I don't do it for anyone else but myself - my actions are predominantly selfish. So what am I doing? What am I wasting my time on? I really should be doing something more productive... But I probably won't, will I?

All I Wanted

"And when the world treats you way too fairly, well it's a shame I'm a dream."

Speaking of dreams, I had a peculiar dream this morning where I was attempting to board a train but somehow managed to keep missing the trains. I boarded one train which went the wrong way and then met the guys from Tripod at a station when I departed the train. We then all attempted to board a few trains. When we finally managed to board a train heading in the correct direction I was awoken from my dream.

So anyway, Christmas has passed and I believe it is safe to say I was the best gift-giver of my family this year. I bought my father Nerf guns - amongst other things - for Christmas and we had quite a blast with them. We ganged up against my older sister and shot her, I snuck up on him whilst he was attempting to do the same to me and shot him in the back. We played Hungry, Hungry Hippos which was fabulous. 

I'm trying to rid my life of clutter - live more simply though spontaneously as well. I reactivated my Facebook account a couple days ago and I realised I spoke to barely a handful of people (and they, me) I have as friends on Facebook for the entire month my account was deactivated. What does this say about the people I consider friends? I guess I really don't form very meaningful relationships with people. I should work on that. I want to work on that but I don't think I really do want to. I don't want it enough to go out of my way, that's for sure.

So, this is my third post of the month. Obviously I haven't stuck to my "one post a day" goal. But that's fine by me. I really do not have enough to share with people to write on a daily basis. Once every week or so seems to be sufficient. If I happen to write more regularly than that, great!

I am yet to organise all my music. There is just so much of it. To be honest, I do not know where to start with it all - it's all pretty overwhelming. Perhaps I will just leave it as it is and allow the mess and disorganisation of my MP3's to rule my external hard drive. Eventually I will tidy it all up but for now... For now, I ignore it as best I can.

This is a very late post. I will finish it here and go to sleep. I have been very tired these last couple weeks. I have been feeling exhausted - luckily it doesn't seem to have effected my work. Just my focus and ability to function with everything else in life.

This Close

"I don't know who I am anymore. Not once in life have I been real, but I've never felt this close before."

It has been a strange past week. I've been feeling a bit ill on and off and I've been so tired - I'm finding it difficult to wake up most mornings. 

I copied some CDs onto my laptop today then synched my iPhone so I had some new music. It means I only have three albums on my phone at the moment but that's okay. Katy Perry, Eminem and Flyleaf are on my phone now. I will eventually sort out the other CDs I have and go through all my music to decide what I want on my phone but that probably won't happen for a while. That's okay though because I will probably be fixated of Flyleaf for a substantial period of time as I do most other bands.

I feel like dressing up as Snow-white. I do not know why but when I saw my hair today I suddenly thought of Snow-white and thought it would be very fun to dress up. Perhaps I should have a costume party, though there wouldn't be a reason as such for one. Then again, it is me. Do I ever really need a reason to do anything, especially if it is something strange. I'm pretty sure people expect strange things of me. They may be surprised by the things themselves but I'm pretty sure people are not surprised that I did/do them.

I have faces on my hands. They have pursed pink mouths and squinty black eyes. They are ever so slightly amusing. 

I do not have a lot to share this time around. Things are pretty much the same as ever. I am me, flowing through my day to day life, not really doing anything of consequence, not making any large impacts on lives that I know of. Perhaps I make an impact on my customers' lives without realising it. I suppose I shall never know.

I feel like watching Outrageous Fortune. The entire series. At once. I think I need a few days all to myself so I may do so. That would be awfully nice. And then I could finish watching Life on Mars... And rewatch Life... All fantastic TV series'.

Anyway, it is now time for me to shower and then sleep so that is what I shall now do. Work in the morning; I must remind myself to eat breakfast before I leave. I keep forgetting to eat and then wonder throughout the course of the day why I am so hungry. I really need to arrange food for myself for dinners when I get home in the evening. I wouldn't become so hungry if I did that as well...

Set Apart This Dream

"And no one cries, screams or shouts."

So I haven't made a post in what must be almost two weeks now though I don't think it matters all that much. I'm pretty sure only two people read my posts anyway so it's not really a big deal. I do this more for myself than I do them anyway. 

So things have been going pretty well the last couple weeks. I treated myself to a bunch of DVDs and CDs and bought some new clothes as well. Not many clothes but a few. Enough for a nice little change of style for a little while. 

I want to steal my cable back from AJ so I can use my stereo to play my CDs in my room. I have a bunch of CDs that I haven't ripped to my computer yet so the music is not on my iPhone and this disappoints me. It is disappointing. I am disappointed.

I feel like writing a series of haikus now though I'm likely too lazy to do so. Also, I'm lazy. ;]

I'm definitely in a Flyleaf mood at the moment. Flyleaf is a fantastic band, no matter what their influences and themes. The compilations of their songs and the harmonies used are the kind I wish I could taste. I almost can, in fact. They feel amazing. 

I don't really have a whole lot to share this evening. Most of what is on my mind is to stay on my mind and mine only. Which is a slight burden but I don't mind all that much. I prefer my secrecy in my thoughts. I'm pretty sure that is a well known fact about me.

I have a busy weekend ahead of me. Many things to do, many events to attend. I'm not sure if I will be able to make everything I have arranged to attend though I certainly hope I can. I may just have to leave some places early/arrive late. I will work it out.

Eventually, I will work everything out.

Pen and Paper

This whole routine is getting old

So am I, and so are you

My reputation lets me know

I can do whatever I want to

Though it seems that you believe

You can do whatever it is you please

Not before, Not before 

you wind up on your knees

Don't cry to me no more

You like the way that people stare at you

Now you look so fake,

just thought that you should know

And you're all the same,

and when the curtain drops down

You'll be replaced by something typical

You set yourself up to the sold

and that's ok cause that's your role

Manipulation takes its toll

What will you do when nobody wants you?

Though it seems that you believe

You can do whatever it is you please

Not before, Not before you wind up on your knees

Don't cry to me no more

You like the way that people stare at you

Now you look so fake,

just thought that you should know

And you're all the same,

and when the curtain drops down

You'll be replaced by something typical

I know, I've stood so long beside you

And I know, I should've left you 

right where I had found you

I know, I've stood so long beside you

And I know, I should've left you 

right where I had found you

You like the way that people stare at you

Now you look so fake,

just thought that you should know

And you're all the same,

and when the curtain drops down

You'll be replaced by something typical

You like the way that people stare at you

Now you look so fake,

just thought that you should know

And you're all the same,

and when the curtain drops down

You'll be replaced by something typical

Copypasta. 

Iris

"And I don't want the world to see me 'cause I don't think that they'd understand."

I opened my third account today. I'm quite enjoying opening accounts. It is good fun. I enjoy my job. =]

My Daria DVDs arrived yesterday. There are a couple issues with the DVDs so I have emailed the company I purchased them from to see if they are willing to fix the issues. If not, I will take it further but for now, it's cool. So long as things can be fixed it will be all good. 

It is my turn to cook dinner tonight. I am planning on cooking sausages and spaghetti. We had mince last night and I want spaghetti so I'm going to cook sausages instead with a little bit of a gravy sauce. It shall be delicious and I shall nom it all up. 

I played Day of Defeat for the first time in yonks last night. I quite enjoyed it - even though I had forgotten many basic controls of the game. I had fun and that's what really matters. =]

The guys who play are amusing to game with. The good thing about gaming is the interactions you have with some people. Some people are brilliant conversationalists whilst gaming. It's a pity most of those skills don't seem to be transferable to general society for some.

So... I'm hanging 'round the Neopets ETAMS board, trying to troll but everyone seems to be at school [as most of the posters are in America and under the age of 15] which is disappointing because that leaves me unentertained with nothing to do but stare at dead posts. What should I do? I have no solution to this boredom. I am constantly bored by the interwebz, it seems. Perhaps I need to have a good ol' movie-a-thon full of all things Hayao Miyazaki - that would be spectacular.

I do believe this is the longest blog I have written thus far. How am I doing? Well? I would certainly hope so. If you're not bored by now, reading all of these posts, you must be a very boring person. I seem to be a very boring person. I have nothing exciting going on with me, it seems. I should do exciting things. Like go to the beach! That would be fun. Maybe not exciting, but fun. 

It's my sister's 21st Birthday party on Saturday. She's not 21 until the 1st of December but the party is this weekend as - I do believe - she is planning to head back to New Zealand for her actual birthday. I can't be sure though. I promised I would attend the party though I'm not sure if I really want to go. I don't know who will be there and I do not know most of her friends in the first place. I'm also hoping our parents will not be there though I doubt she would have invited them - not our mother at least.

Anyway, I should be off to cook dinner now. My belly is gurgling and threatening to eat itself and I fear one day it really will begin to consume itself - and then every other part of my body. I don't try to starve myself, it's just that my belly eats so little but needs to eat so regularly. I don't have enough food with me to sustain my belly's outrageous eating patterns. Perhaps that means I need to carry around a mini chilly bin where ever I go so that I may eat on demand.

Perhaps...

I still have Deathcar stuck in my head.