"I won't let you; let you give up on a miracle when it might save you."
"We'll get it right this time."Maybe that's what I'm holding out for. Something that is right. I can't ever seem to decide what is right. Why am I so indecisive? So hesitant to make a choice when all I want is to let go - to be spontaneous and enjoy myself.
Perhaps, perhaps. Maybe so, maybe no.
It's all I have now. And I'm afraid it's all I will ever have though I want more.
I may be moving shortly. I've put an application in for a new house with a small group of people whom are near complete strangers to me. I met with Lauren - one of my would-be housemates - on Saturday. She is a lovely girl. Fun, cute, talkative, small. It could be fantastic. The house is lovely and large, with a nice backyard and patio. It seems like a great place. I think I may be happy but I can't really be certain. It's hard to tell sometimes.
Like the warmth of my hot water bottle spreading through me. Does it fade away as the hours pass or will it stay with me? Time will tell.